working wordsmith + happy husband + doting dad + amateur author + fledgling farceur + pretend prestidigitator + jolly hockeyologist
working wordsmith + happy husband + doting dad + amateur author + fledgling farceur + pretend prestidigitator + jolly hockeyologist

Quick-fire Q&As

Here's a profile-style Q&A section; if I've missed anything out and you want to know, simply ask, and I'll add it in. (You can use the comments section at the bottom of the page).

LOVES

The sound of my son's laughter. My family. Punfights. Rollercoasters. Doctor Who. Good banter. Making people laugh. Hockey. Doctor Who. Beer-battered onion rings. Warm cheese straws.

 

LOATHES

My son's tears and tantrums. Playground politics. Two-faced people. Conceding soft goals at hockey. Cooked fruit (except pineapple).

 

AMBITIONS

To make my parents and family proud of me. To make people smile. To be as good a parent to my child as my parents have been to me. To be a good husband. To see a print copy of one of my books on the shelf of a High Street store. To write a poem or song that really means something to someone. To keep a few more clean sheets at hockey. To take part in a custard pie fight. To pluck up the courage to perform some magic publicly. To find something I am naturally good at. To fit in and belong.

 

NICKNAMES

Baney, Dazza B, Oily Rag, Boy Wonder, Dazzius Maximus Baneus, Darrildo, Baneiac, Dazzle, The Pun-isher, Banesy.

 

FAVOURITE BOOKS

 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, David Nobbs. 

 

FAVOURITE FILMS

Star Wars, Airplane, Top Secret, Hot Shots, Waking Ned, Hot Fuzz, Dead Poet's Society, Home Alone. The Pink Panther Strikes Again.

 

FAVOURITE TV

Doctor Who, Blake's 7, Blackadder, Father Ted, Luther, A Touch Of Cloth. Tiswas. Fawlty Towers.

 

FAVOURITE MUSIC

The Mission. The Waterboys. Dare. The Alarm. The Jeff Healey Band. Bon Jovi. The Commitments. Louis Jordan. Louis Armstrong.

 

FAVOURITE COMEDIANS

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, Milton Jones, Jimmy Carr, Al Murray, Jasper Carrott, Phil Cool, Jethro, Rob Brydon.

 

CLAIMS TO FAME

I was once asked to act as a decoy for 80s pop star Jason Donovan, so that he could successfully escape from thousands of screaming fans after a live performance at the BBC Radio 1 Roadshow on the seafront in Weston-super-Mare.

 

I lived the dream of a Doctor Who fan by being allowed to get involved in the making of, and briefly appearing on screen in, a low-budget fan film which starred Colin Baker, Wendy Padbury and Carole-Ann Ford. I got so involved with helping out behind the scenes that I ended up with an on-screen credit as "the Gaffer".

 

I have a Guinness World Record certificate, after organising what was, for a year, the longest continuous match of field hockey in history, at 31 hours, raising thousands of pounds for charity in the process.

 

CLAIMS TO INFAMY

I was at a Christmas drinks reception hosted by the Mayor of Weston-super-Mare in my very early days as a journalist. I went to complain about a raw chicken nugget, only to be told it was scampi.

 

In learning to cook, I didn't know what Madeira wine was, so I used Lambrusco instead and ended up with some fizzy gravy.

 

Having made the most of the free alcohol on our table during the official re-opening of Knightstone Theatre in Weston-super-Mare, attended by the Mayor and civic leaders, I ended up accompanying the singer for the very high "I want to feel the heat" line of the Whitney Houston song "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" that she was covering.

 

There was a typo in a newspaper story I once wrote, in which I wrote the description of a man police were looking for in connection with a crime. My article said that the man was wearing a 'shite' shirt.

 

I was convicted of speeding in a Citroen 2CV.

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© 2017 Darren Bane