From little acorns, you get very small nut cutlets.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
if you're happy and you know it, think again.
I will be back when I return, and not a moment before. And if I do come back before I return, then shoot me because I
will be a cunningly-cloned imposter.
Someone said to me "that's not my cup of tea" and I thought it's just as well. If we all liked the same cup of tea, it
would be a pretty rum do for all the rival manufacturers.
I'm like a gloworm which has backed into a fan - de-lighted.
I know I shouldn't pay too much attention to the voices in my head, but sometimes they come up with such interesting
There's no point having your fingers in lots of different pies if you never get around to doing any
I always aim to please. It's not my fault I'm just such a rotten shot.
I am a flawed genius; the main flaw being that I've not yet discovered where my true genius lies.
As a bone-fide Bristolian, do you know what's holding me back? Me spine!
Superstitious? Pah. I take all that superstitious stuff with a pinch of salt. Tossed over my shoulder, of
I've got the Sadim Touch. It's the opposite of the Midas Touch. Instead of everything turning to gold, it turns into
something a long, long way from gold...
If I ever get to be a performing magician, I am going to go onto stage with a parrot on my shoulder, which I will have
taught to say "help! He's turned me into a parrot!"
I'm getting older, and wider. But, on reflection, I see myself.
I want to grow up without growing old.
I am learning to live in the moment. I used to live in Bristol.
I'm suffering from Proofreaders Fobia, the fear of mis-spelled words.
I've coined a word of my very own, which I think perfectly encapsulates the kind of verbal nonsense I love indulging in:
people have often accused me of talking bollocks, but it can be quite good bollocks. Or, as I prefer to call it, "QUALLOCKS", which means quality bollocks.
You don't need a holiday, if you have a LOL-a-day.
Autocorrect makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.
I curse the man who invented autocorrect. If I ever meet him, and he offers to auto-correct something for me, I
will simply say "you can't." Actually, I won't get to meet him, as I understand he recently died. His funfair will be next monkey.
What's sauce for the goose doesn't necessarily go down well with chips.
One should always give 100% in everything one does - with the possible exception of giving blood.
Be better, not bitter.