working wordsmith+happy husband+doting dad+amateur author+fledgling farceur+pretend prestidigitator+jolly hockeyologist
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Chart-toppers One Direction have gone their separate ways. How ironic.
If you replace the 'W' with a 'T' in the words 'What', 'Where' and 'When', you get the answer to each of them!
I asked her: "How did you vote in the general election?". She said: "Angb". I replied: "That is 'bang', out of order."
There is chaos on the motorway today after a lorry laden with tonnes of Vick's Nasal Spray shed its load all over the carriageway. However, a police spokesman said they expect there to be no congestion for up to eight hours.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
I tried to figure out what on earth prompted my sudden new-found love of ballet. The answer came to me when I put tu and tu together.
When my wife said she was thinking of leaving me, because of my new-found addiction for the 60s pop band The Monkees, I didn't think she meant it. "But then I saw her face..."
One of the positive things about insomnia? Just three more sleeps 'til Santa.